HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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