well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
