She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
