I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
