dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
