Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
