Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
