I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
