Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
