What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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