I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
