Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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