we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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