I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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