making cat noises will not fix the situation.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This is the high leading the old right now
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
