Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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