Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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