Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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