how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
