But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
