Don't you send me to vm
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize