I faked an abortion last night.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
bring money and cleavage
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
