Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
honey bunches of taint.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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