my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
