glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
