First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
