You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
