Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
