I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
