JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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