Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
