the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
