I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
