No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize