Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
