he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
