Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
