Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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