what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
