I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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