They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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