he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
