farters have to be the big spoon...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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