tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
