I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
how drunk are you?
Several
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
