Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
