i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
