i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
