Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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