just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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