You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
