He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
id be glad to
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
