Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Two words: blizzard sex
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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