did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
