Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize