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• (907): View more from Alaska

  is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

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• (631): View more from New York

  Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.

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• (626): View more from California

  wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.

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• (925): View more from California

  I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...

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• (315): View more from New York

  The second I see you we're shot gunning beers

  (1-315): View more from New York

  It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning

  (315): View more from New York

  And your point is?

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Marry me

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.

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