i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
